beginnings

031so this week we took our youngest daughter to college.                                                             we stuffed all of her belongings into our SUV,  decorated the dorm room, paid the tuition, took a selfie and off we went.  it stung like hell as i fought back tears while walking back across campus to the car.

it was one of those moments.  the kind that sear into the memory.  an end and a beginning all wrapped into one.  epic. empty. full.  all mixed up.   back and forth.

don’t most journeys begin that way?   a delightful mix of expectancy and pure terror…. sprinkled with plenty of doubts.  i think my daughter and i both felt that way.  because we are both at a beginning of sorts.  a starting point.  a place where nothing is certain and we need to wait for life to take shape.

something about beginnings makes me hold my breath.  eyes big and wondering.  knowing i don’t know yet what i don’t know.                                                                                                but it’s ok.                                                                                                                                 because adventure and mystery never promise a sure thing.080

instead they open the heart and soul.  stretching the muscle and fiber of who we are- and the capacity we can discover within.  it’s in each of us, sometimes buried deep in the marrow of us.  but it’s there. courage.

it might look different for each of us- giving up addictions, taking a new job, moving, letting yourself be seen,  starting , ending.

and starting lines are the same for ALL of us.  whether young or old, expert or novice…the starting line is level ground.  shrouded with hesitation and resolve in the same breath.    so let’s begin.   let’s discover.

let’s listen to the whisper of God, calling us to live fully and try new paths.  even if we get tripped up or lost a bit.  let’s not choose “easy” or be tempted to give up.

choose to press in.  choose to see with eyes wide open.  choose to take those first awkward steps in a new direction.                                                                                                                   be brave … and oh yeah, don’t forget to breathe.

happy january.

079“there’s beauty all around our paths, if but our watchful eyes can trace it midst familiar things, and through their lowly guise”             Felicia D Hemans

for my daddy who always planted seeds of wandering and adventure in my soul,and who always reminded me that “beginning is halfway there”.  i miss you everyday. happy birthday.  and for Maddie who is just beginning to begin…breathe deep and just take one step at a time.” you got this.” ( quote by megan yohe)

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2 Responses to beginnings

  1. Abigail Alleman says:

    Jamie! I LOVE your post and you 🙂 Your honesty encourages me. So much to think about and keep opening up to God. Thank you.

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