” Jesus knows the trauma of being human in a fallen world. He walked into the darkness, where we cower, where we fight to pretend all is right, where we busy ourselves to avoid hearing, where we frantically grasp at anything to find relief- where we condemn any hint of our exposure. In the place where we find no hope, no solace, where we see no possibility of tomorrow, He faced the sleepless demons and their accusing shadows. Staring into the lifeless eyes of the abyss, Jesus threw Himself head long into the jaws of our greatest fear. Free-falling in the darkness of Adam’s mind, Jesus found the unfailing arms of His Father. ” -Across All Worlds by C. Baxter Kruger
i am listening, but do i hear it ? the Voice that whispers grace and redemption. the Voice that speaks of beauty and purpose…and calls me into deep waters and down unseen paths. it echoes in my ears like the forest wind in the tree tops. but to really hear, i know i must lay aside the clatter and noise of this life. to be still and expectant. and to come empty and vulnerably as i wait on His voice.
choosing to sit always begins with an act of the will. because our humanness begs us to scurry and fix…to patch up our questions with quick answers.
and so the posture of sitting…and waiting becomes a sacred offering. and as we lay down our thoughts of self-importance we give God an opening to enter our chaos. in that moment of choosing to sit, we are changed. because in our “not taking matters into our own hands” we invite His truth to penetrate and we begin to discern His voice over all the others in our mind. it happens little by little…but once we start to listen, really listen, suddenly we begin to hear. the mystery and fear of free-falling doesn’t seem so awkward or terrifying anymore. because each time we trust and let go…and are caught by Him in our free-fall, He becomes more true , more real. faith is no longer a spiritual notion or an imaginary idea..but the lifeline by which we hang.
Jesus took the first leap and made a way for us. He tore the veil that separated us from God. He led us into extravagant grace that gives us unhindered access to His Father.
do you live like that ?
do i live like that ? honestly, no. most of the time i run around, bumping into walls, deaf and blind. and questioning God in the messes i’ve made. so aware of my nagging dissatisfaction with the things of this world.
so, will i stop…and listen ? on those days when doubt and desire are gnawing at my soul? will i hear His voice and let it sink in, even then …and let it be enough to satisfy ?
will i let the richness of His presence eclipse all other hunger?
each day i must choose. again . and again. and again, choose to live in this holy tension. to be empty and still at rest. to long and still trust. to wrestle and still look…for more of God. everyday. in everything. to hear His voice in the darkness and the whisper and know upon knowing that it is He.
” and I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, In order that you may know that it is I. The Lord God of Israel, who calls you by your name.” Isaiah 45:3
Father, thank you for meeting me in the dark places. for tuning my ears to hear You above all other voices… even if the cost is filled with waiting and discomfort…and living in that barren territory that exposes my deepest longings. let me be hungry and still wait…for Your voice.