” Community in it’s truest form cannot grow out of loneliness , but comes when a person who begins to recognize his or her belovedness greets the belovedness of the other ” – Turn My Mourning into Dancing
but to keep giving in the face of hurt, judgement…and being missed is a high calling.
when our capacity has been emptied, there we truly rely on God’s filling to be enough
to continue to risk in relationship requires the deepest trust in a Savior who pours Himself out…
who is ALIVE in us.
living safely, not risking seems the smarter approach.
offering myself and braving the mystery looks foolish on most accounts and the cost can be high.
so i try to rationalize the “infinite measure” of God’s economy with my “finite” mind…….
and i can’t come to terms with it.
so i wrestle….it gnaws at my soul. relationship = pain is all i see sometimes and the weight presses in on my vulnerability , on my very hope that this life in any way will yield fullness, joy, expectancy, even blessing. i am blinded by failure, trust gone bad, loyalty wasted….years wasted. regret.
so the Father must cut through to enter. to remind me of the penetrating blood of His Son.
seeping into the cracks of my broken life…right through to my jaded heart.
healing me for Love’s sake.
“ …that is the great and wonderful mystery of God becoming flesh to live among us. God becomes part of our mourning and invites us to learn to dance- not alone, but with others, sharing in God’s own compassion, as we both give it and receive it”
….Jesus teach me the dance.